I have been realizing more than I ever thought I would in the past few weeks, about what it means to be a foreigner in another country.
The feelings, emotions, and thoughts I have been feeling are unlike anything I have ever felt in the privileged, secure bubble of the bay area where I live. I have been through a striking amount of self exploration, and other worldly exploration into the meaning of the Chinese culture.
I first would like to address Indirectness and Directness as an actual Cultural DIFFERENCE:
Can you believe it? I didn't want to assume that this was actually a cultural difference, even though I had read about it and KNEW that this could be based on a culture and not just a trait that some people do or don't have. Once again, it does not apply to every one in the culture, because that is not accurate or realistic, and mostly just generalized.
Passive aggressiveness is very similar to indirectness, I have found. And I as a person, would consider myself of this category, so therefore I don't even fit into the cultural generalization as Americans being direct and Chinese being indirect.
But then when I really dig deep into it, I realize that I do. This indirectness and directness is different than their commonly perceived notions.
It is more about indirectness and directness at its core. It's as simple as telling someone that you are mad with them because they were late, or telling your waiter in a cafe that they brought you the wrong food.
It is about how it is actually perceived as rude to be direct here, it is better to hold some emotions or thoughts inside in order to not offend others, or not have others lose face.
And now I realize that I have probably been rude in many situations where I have been direct.
I feel like I am walking along in a mist or a fog covering sometimes, not seeing the bigger picture, and not being aware of it. Only seeing what is in front of me.
There are so many cultural practices and norms that I don't know, it must be really obvious that I am not a part of this culture. When I thought that I was really fitting in, I realize that I am not at all.
On Language Barriers:
I am thankful that I have studied Chinese for two years prior to coming to China.
I now realize how considerate it is to another culture to learn their language, and to make an effort to speak it.
Many of my classmates abroad did not learn the language before coming here, and they are struggling.
There are some people out there who do not appreciate it when foreigners don't at least try to speak or learn the language.
I can just imagine how frustrating it is to have the language barrier.
I think that every college, should require its students to at least take a year of the language before going abroad to a country that speaks a different language, just for respectful purposes.
When people see you making an effort to speak their language, then they are more likely to accept you into their culture, or to treat you better.
Language barriers also inhibit you from connecting to others. It can be really hard when one of my chinese friends wants to express something to me but does not know how to say it in english, and my chinese maybe isn't good enough to understand thoroughly.
Therefore, I don't feel that I am getting to know people to a level that I want to, a deeper level. Talk can be very superficial here because that is the level of chinese that I can speak, and the english that they can speak.
So if you are going to go to another country, at least be considerate and put in some time to learn the language, because it will pay off.
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